2009 August

6:23 AM –

Mama, mama, mama, mam-oh.

Dad-oh! Dookie, dookie, dookie, nu nu nu nu nu nu.

Time to wake up. Time to wake up. I pee-peed lots. Look at me jump. I’m a good jumper. This crib is so bouncy. Bouncy, bouncy me!

Hey! It’s Daddy! Hi Daddy. Where you going, Daddy? Kay. See you soon. I’ll just jump some more.

Oh look, it’s Mommy! Milk, milk, milk time. Milk time. Milk time.

Oh thank goddness you’re getting me out of this crib… stop trying to… help me… I can do it myself.

Diaper? Did you say diaper? No no no no no no no, I don’t need it changed. I NEED MILK! Do you not see me frantically opening and closing my fists? I’m making the sign for milk. MILK! Sometimes you’re not so bright, Mommy.

Oh is that… is that… is that what I think it is?

milk

ahhh

I love you.

Mama. Hmmm, hm, hm.

Okay, stop holding me. I’m getting down. Stop trying to… help me… I can do it myself. Thanks for the milk. See ya.

How fast can I run? Run. Run. Run. Wow, my feet are awesome. When did I learn to do that?

Oh, hey. It’s the dining table. Better smack on that a little bit to make sure it’s still solid. Yup. Good.

If I run through the kitchen, I wonder what’s on the other side. Oh wow- it’s the living room! Just like yesterday! Holy moly! Let’s do it again… it’s still the living room! Okay, again. No freakin’ way, it’s the living room!

Maybe if I just run through the kitchen one more time… what’s that on the counter… I’ll just reach up on my way by… wow, that makes a really loud sound when it falls. Oh look, Daddy’s shoe… I’ll just throw that over there.

Oh what’s that over there? It’s the electrical socket. I love that thing. I better go say good morning to it. There are those pesky plastic covers. We’ll just pop those off. There we go. Those things are a nuisance. Hello socket.

dookie, dookie, dookie, doh,doh,doh.

Hey, mommy, no fair, I was saying good morning to my friend the electrical socket. Oh no, don’t put me in the Pack n Play. Not baby jail… nooooooo!… oooh is that my monkey?

Cool.

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Nadya Suleman has left me in limbo.

Yes, I absolutely watched the Nadya Suleman two hour special of “unseen footage” last night. This particular evening, I felt like judging someone, pointing my finger, and feeling self-righteous. It was as if the Gods had designed the night’s television programing just for me.

Octomom …

on a silver platter…

enjoy…

I settled on my couch with a bowl of pasta, ready to feel the anger rise up inside of me. Unfortunately, I was denied.

Oh there was anger, a little, but it didn’t really rise- just kinda floated around a bit. She’s attention- seeking, for sure. She’s messed up. She’s put these children in a horrible situation. But these are all things I already knew, and now after watching this stupid special, I know that she knows it too. She said herself that she screwed up her life, she’s screwed up her children’s lives, and now she’s just doing the best she can.

Well, fuck.

I can’t really hate you when you admit that you’re wrong.

We’re all just doing the best we can. And we’ve all made some mistakes– I’ve made some doozies.

I suppose I was hoping to either be filled with hate, or, on the other side of the spectrum, to see some great redemption story. Instead I just saw a woman who messed up big time and is living with the consequences. I didn’t feel sorry for her, she brought it on herself. I didn’t hate her either. I was just … apathetic.

Well, Jesus, apathy I can get at the grocery store.

I did feel a little sorry for the kids. But, honestly, there was so much crying and whining in that household, that my special mommy mute button was pressed. You know, the one that allows you to keep your sanity amidst the earth shattering sound of your child’s cries. That one.

So, two hours of television equaled wasted time for me. I learned nothing, felt little, and have now resigned myself to no more Octomom viewing or reading.

At least, I’m gonna try really hard.

–seriously