Okay, I used to be a nanny in my younger years. For a long while, I cared for two brothers who were 5 yrs and 2 yrs old. This is something I wrote years ago about the littlest boy who loved to ask “why?”

I was still young and naive enough to think he really wanted to know why. So, I tried my best to answer him each time.

I am really good at making stuff up.

Friday, March 18, 2005

WHY?

AHHHH… the ” terrible twos”. My life as a Nanny is a constant challenge.
We’re driving in the borrowed car as I try to explain that my car is at the “car doctor” getting fixed.
“Why?” The two year old asks.
“I had a car accident”
“Why?”
“Sometimes, grownups don’t pay attention when they are driving.”
“Why?”
“Sometimes they are sleepy. Or they are driving too fast. Or they are trying to do too many things at once and talking on their phones.”
“Why?”
“Well, sometimes their phone rings and it’s important. Maybe it’s an emrgency, or someone important from work….” Now I start rambling… “…or they have to call someone before a certain time to close a big deal and make money to pay their bills..”
“Why?”
Good question. ” People need to make money. It’s just the way the world has been set up.”
Now he’s getting deep..
“Who did that?”
“HMM…I guess we all did.”
“No.”
“No? Who do you think?”

Maybe I’ll get some new insight here.
I wait with bated breath, but he has now lost interest and decides to try and open the back door while the car is in motion. Even though the child-lock is always on, I try to stress the importance of not opening the door while we are driving.
“Why?”
“Because it’s very dangerous.”
“Why?”
The five year old sibling decides to help me out a little.
“You could fall out and crack open your head. Then you will be bloody and die.”
Tread lightly…tread lightly…
“Um…true. Look a firetruck!”
Saved by someone’s misfortune. Ouch.
After the sirens die down, we turn the corner and pull safely up to the house.

7 pm- bathtime.
Bathtime is actually one of my favorite times. The cutie pies sit in mounds of bubbles as I supervise and we chat. Unfortunately, it is also the best time to squirt each other with their toys and splash each other in the face. The younger one shoots his brother in the eye with a water gun. I take the gun away.
“Did you just shoot your brother in the face?”
“No.”
“Please don’t lie. I saw you do it. It’s not good to lie.”
“Why?”
I quickly shuffle through my mental index of reasons… the boy who cried wolf…other people will stop believing what you say…it’s a sin…etc. I finally decide that a two year old still thinks the world revolves around him. Does he really care what other people think? He’s much more concerned with how things affect him.
“Lying hurts your soul.”
Okay, so maybe I went a little above his head. He looks at me, a little perplexed. He doesn’t want to be hurt, but is not quite sure what I’m talking about. I propose a question to both of them.
“Do you know what your soul is?”
While the five year old thinks real hard to come up with an answer that will knock my socks off, the younger one feels pressure to say something first.
“Your bones!!”
I’m actually impressed.
“Close. It’s something deep inside of you. Deeper than your bones. It’s the part of you that is filled with love.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s the way we were all made.”
“Why?”
I decide to fall back on an old stand by-

“Magic.”

“Now let’s check our hands to see if they’re wrinkly.”
All four little hands look like prunes, which means it’s time to get out of the tub.

It was always hard to get them out of the tub, so we went by the “skin clock”. If the skin was wrinkled, it meant they had to get out of the tub before their skin shriveled and fell off.  ( I may have stretched the truth on that one a bit.)

8PM-
Drawing and coloring before heading to bed.
The little one takes a big crayon and draws a huge circle.
“Is that circle?”
“Yes, that’s a circle.”
“Why?”

“Because that’s what a circle looks like.”

“Why?”

“Because…  everyone got together and decided that this shape shall be called a circle.”

“Why?”

“Because the word ‘circle’ is spelled with two C’s. The letter C is half of a circle. So when we put two halves together..” as I make C’s with my hands “.. it makes the shape of a circle.”

“Oh.”

He said “OH!”… yippee!

He said “OH”! Not “why”, “oh”.

I don’t know where I pulled that from, but I feel brilliant. If only everything else were as easy to explain as the circle.

Now, as a mother, I hope I remember this post every now and then. Especially when Bam Bam asks “why”.  May I resist simply saying “Because.” At least some of the time.

Even if I have to make up something crazy. It just makes life more fun.

Any doozies that you’ve pulled out of your ass?

Even if we’re making it up, we are mothers, which means we’re probably right.