Hello, and welcome to Web Village Wednesday.

What the hell is Web Village Wednesday?  Just something I made up again.

I happen to live where we have no support system.  Los Angeles is a weird place where it’s hard to make friends, and our relatives are spread out all over the country.  So, you, my cyber buddies, have become like my village.

So, sometimes, on Wednesdays, whenever I feel like it, at unequal intervals, I would like to introduce you to members of my “village.”

If you haven’t figured out by reading my post- Somebody give me an infant!, Hot Nerd and I would very much like to have another baby.

I am becoming increasingly curious as to how different it will be to have more than one child. Right now all my focus is on our son, and he takes up all the time and energy I have.

I wanted someone who could answer this question for me and give it to me straight.  So, of course I went to Deb (aka Truthful Mommy), over at The Truth About Motherhood. If you’re a mom, and you’ve never been to visit her, you should.  She’ll make you cry, pee your pants, and sigh with delight.

Here is a guest post by the lovely, truthful, Debi Cruz-Beck.  Welcome to my village, Deb.  I hope you stay a very long time.

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I was recently asked what it was like to be the parent of two children. What’s really the difference in having one child and two children? Well, one child is like having one child.  You know aside from the obvious issue of having another child to love. I am here to tell you the difference. I’m going to give you the truth like no one else will tell you. This article is not for the faint of heart. If you are expecting your second, it’s too late to turn back now in the pregnancy but you may want to revisit this post in a few more months so that you can shake your head in agreement.

So let it be written, so let it be known that having a second child is absolutely wonderful.  That being said, having a second child is much like having ten children. For some reason, the second child and the first child are never anything alike as far as nighttime sleep patterns, nap routines, feeding schedules, personalities; this is obviously done to keep us on our toes. You know, no one wants us running around cocky being all ” I got this”. SUCKER! You might “got it” until that second baby actually makes its way into the world then your whole world flips upside down. Forget what you thought you knew. Baby number two is all about teaching you the lesson of letting go. Giving yourself over to a higher something and praying it all comes out alright.

That two or three year old that you had so perfectly trained and in perfect sync with you, will surely regress. And no, not any amount of prepping, practicing or having good intentions will change that. My 2 year old, who was completely potty-trained when her sister was born, completely regressed. She decided that if her sister was going to be all ” look at me, I’m too special to wipe my own ass” and get her diaper changed, then damn it..so was she. Damn you diaper fairy, you reneged and threw me under the bus. An exhausted mommy of a newborn and a toddler can only be strong for so long, choose your battles wisely. And NO…piss in your bed or caca on your carpet is not a battle you want to take chances with. Diaper it up! You can deal with that diaper fairy at a later date, perhaps when your ten children are safely at university.

Sleep, well, you can kiss that good bye. There was a brief 2-day period when I had them on the same sleep schedule but they decided (amongst themselves in some clandestine baby coup meeting) that my life was just too damn easy. Where did that get me? It left me getting about 4 hours of sleep on the regular, running around town not knowing which way was up and I’m convinced that my Mommy brain has evolved into full on sun-downers. Peace and quiet? That is long gone. I catch glimpses of it on certain days, when the fates smile down upon me and the girls are NOT picking on one another. Most days, I feel like I need to be an octopus with a fully functional brain and the patience of Mother Teresa just to wrangle my babies. Unfortunately for the girls, nothing on me is fully functioning these days. I’m still trying to regain full consciousness from the second delivery.

The delivery in which I was in the hospital for less than 24 hours because my 2 year old was completely confused about what was going on and my Mommy guilt was out of control. I felt like I was betraying her by having another child, little lone staying away from her an entire 24 hours while her little head swam with abandonment and bewilderment. Don’t worry baby, Mommy’s coming. She came to see her new baby and looked at me with those big blue eyes like “Mama, why have you forsaken me?” She left, I cried, the doctor came in and I asked to go home. I went home. I am yet to get a nap in since. *Gratuitous warning alert* Please, for the love of all that is good in the world, if you are having your second baby and still reading. Stay in the hospital as long as they will allow you. I have learned. If I EVER have a third, I’m staying in the hospital for as long as I can convince the good doctors and nurses to have me as their guest. Hell, I’ll even pay extra.

What I’m telling you, in terms of children, one is like one but two is like ten. With the birth of each baby, our body suffers, our memory diminishes and we become increasingly exhausted but our love doubles. In return, we receive the most incredible little people to share our lives with and more love than our hearts can handle. I would not trade in random hugs and kisses, “I love you Mommy”s or the way my girl’s head fits perfectly in the space between my shoulder and my ear for any amount of sleep or peace and quiet. I look into the faces of my two girls and there resides all the wonder of the world and life is good. That’s what it’s like having two children.