She changed the world.

Today, my husband is in Chicago burying his grandmother. I am at home with our son, wishing I could be with him and his family.

When Hot Nerd and I first met, we were very idealistic, and passionate about making an impact on the society. We were intelligent, creative, socially minded people that were out to change the world. Now a days, it seems all we can fit on our plate is work, grad school, raising our son, and paying our bills.  I am often  weighed down by the feeling that we’re not making enough, doing enough, moving fast enough.

Before my husband left for Chicago this weekend, he reminisced a little about his grandma Irene.

She lived a very simple life, was a devout Catholic, and spoke of her childhood as some of the happiest moments of her life. With something like 8 brothers and sisters, they lived a poor existence, in a small cramped house, with only each other for entertainment. For Christmas, the kids would get excited over their presents- a bag of nuts. She always spoke so lovingly of those times, in the way that only the older and wiser can do.

Hot Nerd calls her the closest thing he’s known to a saint. She was the grandmother that always had a kind word and a gentle hand when he was growing up.  I spent time with her on several occasions, and it’s true- she was saintly. She was even tempered, had an aura of peace about her, and volunteered her time at a hospital visiting with patients. She always had something nice to say to you… something truly nice. I can only describe her as a walking hug. Her words were a hug. Her smile was a hug.

Irene did not come from money or power. She also didn’t fight for societal change and wasn’t too involved in politics (from what I can tell). She was simple, in the most honest, and yes, holy of ways.

All she did was raise her family. And then she helped raise her family’s family. She taught my father in law, compassion and patience. She cradled my mother in law in her arms, as she would her own flesh and blood.

My husband has a fierce intolerance for injustice, which I’m sure stems from being partly raised by a woman who would never dream of hurting or misleading a single soul- ever.

Anyone who knew her, loved her.

I weep with a family that has become my own as they lay her into the earth today. And I am so unbelievably joyful that her 88 years of life left so much love in it’s wake. They are the people that I love because of her.

So today, I remind myself to slow down. To love my son and husband with everything my soul has. To think about what is really important.

Peace.

Family.

Love.

I can only hope to change the world like she did.

RIP Grandma Irene