An Ode To Victoria’s Secret


Oh, Victoria…

You really do know my secret.


You know what I like to wear when I curl up with a good book…





and the way I pack too much in my suitcases and have to smash them closed by sitting on them.




You know exactly how I like to break in a new pair of Chucks when I get them…




and how my navel is sensitive and needs to breathe.




But what really makes me feel like you know me, is how you seem to take personal snapshots of how I am in my bedroom and put them on the page. ย You know the secret, dirty things that women do when they are alone and know no one is watching… the things we don’t ever admit to doing – like digging crust out from under our big toenail, or squeezing that weird zit we found under our left boob… or how when we put on a nice underwire bra, we just can’t help but run our fingers through our hair…

and make the kissy face.




Victoria, you know me all too well.






*Let it be known that I receive the Victoria’s Secret catalogue in the mail and will probably continue to do so. ย What can I say – I’m a sucker for good fiction…

and 34″ inseams are a Godsend.






20 responses to “An Ode To Victoria’s Secret”

  1. Candi says:

    That’s hilarious! I bet this list could go on and on and on. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Katie says:

    DUCK FACE! Oh yes, I make this ALL THE TIME when I am alone. Doesn’t everyone?

  3. hillary says:

    Oh, there goes Victoria again. Showing the world what we really do when we’re all alone. Sigh. Where’s the mystery gone?

  4. Alison says:

    I thought the navel showing thing was a 90’s thing. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. I’m glad to see they’re raising awareness that the Arched Back Hair Twirl is the most comfortable reading position. If more people tried it, they’d see.

  6. Wendi says:

    This reminds me of when I was in college and used to have pillow fights with my sorority sisters in our bras and panties.


  7. melissa says:

    Even Victoria’s Secret does the duckface? Oy.

  8. Jessica says:

    You are so hilarious. Glad I stopped making kissing faces in the mirror at myself to read this, while sitting on my luggage, of course.

  9. That’s exactly how I sit on my suitcase when I need to get it to close. Just like that, all sexy-like. No bouncing or grunting or praying or swearing involved. It’s a wonder my husband doesn’t want to jump me on the spot and do it right there on my half-open, Dear-God-please-let-it-be-under-50lbs suitcase.


  10. Oh my goodness, I have officially snorted as I laughed at this post. It is fabulous!

  11. Victoria also knows about the six ribs I had to remove then ground to bone meal and inject into my breasts so that I can look like one of their models. There was also the suctioning of my belly fat and then the injecting of it into my lips – everything can be repurposed.

  12. Oh, Vickie. You also know how to set the bar high for my 14 year old who just loves your sneaky “pink” line. Nothing says “this is what a real woman looks like” than your images staring her in the face as she buys the only thing that covers anything up.. yoga pants.
    Gladly finding you thru the SITSGirls!!

  13. Totally giggling! This is hilarious! Stopping by from SITS Sharefest on Twitter! ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. I am dying.. love this post! The reading picture has to be the best… I love it. Stopping by from SITS ๐Ÿ™‚ Have a fabulous weekend!

    Diary of a Debutante

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