Usually awkward, sometimes shameful, and almost always necessary.
- Taking a crap on your toilet while your toddler plays drums on your knees.
- Politely asking your hubby to remove his head from your lap, because you’re about to fart.
- Sitting just to the left of the obvious cum stain on your friend’s couch.
- Saying penis over and over again every time your son points to it asking what it is.
- Accidentally farting really loud in the grocery store and blaming it on your toddler. “Oh, honey. Good one! Excuse you.”
- Picking your child’s nose in public because that boogey was driving you crazy. Realizing you now have a boogey on your hand, and flicking it when no one is looking. (Come on, be honest.)
- Taking a shower with your toddler and being unable to stop him from peeing on your foot.
- Sneezing in the middle of the night, and wiping your snot on the sheets because you’re just too tired to get out of bed.
Nothing like getting married and having kids to send propriety packing. Nothing is sacred.
Got one?
Oh please do share.
Is it bad that I don’t even have kids and I relate?
Hope “Jenna” doesn’t read this post. She’s sure to be offended
I admit I get the boogies from my daughters nose, but sometimes they are sticky and I resort to whiping them on her clothes, or my clothes, depending on who is wearing the cuter outfit.
My son now cheers me on while I take a dump. Oh yeah, he does.
I know I said it would be cool if I had a cheering section, but it’s really not as cool as I thought it would be.
Bwahahahah! Done each of these! … Except the cum stain one. Apparently I’m cultivating the wrong friends.
I’ve nothing to add but the ubiquitus baby daughter reporting loudly: “Daddy has a hairy penis! A BIG hairy penis!”
In public.
Srsly. Although, in her defense we WERE talking about penises at the time..