Best 15 minutes in a long time.

I sat there in my parked car in the garage for a few minutes.  There was no three year old asking endless questions.  There was no wailing baby in the backseat.  There was no husband grilling me on which way was North, which way was South, and how much of the monthly budget money I had left.

It felt odd, like someone had taken away my appendages.  There was nobody.  There was nothing.  I sat there and thought my own thoughts… thoughts that haven’t had the space to exist in so so long.

Then I took a deep breath, put the key in the ignition, and pulled out of the driveway.

I rolled down the window.

I turned up the radio in an attempt to squeeze out the theme song to The Wonder Pets that was slowly creeping into my brain.

I giggled.

Then I felt it…

that feeling…


A Pat Benatar song came on the radio, and even though I couldn’t for the life of me remember the words, it was the best song ever.

I sung at the top of my lungs.

We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder.

Weeee belong to the sound of the words

we’ve both fallen under.

Whatever hmm feeny hm hmm for bum bum bum better.


My foot pressed a little heavier on the gas.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I sang – pretending I was in a music video.

Maybe hmph a hm na na na when la la hmph a to SAY.

Maybe hm hmmm hmmm … na na… fum fum… AY.

It was the best ride I had had in ages.

Part of me wanted to drive to nowhere.

Part of me wanted to throw a dart at a map.

But I didn’t.

I sang.

I had a concert.

I was a caged bird who had escaped…

and my destination was the Trader Joe’s parking lot to buy groceries.







17 responses to “Best 15 minutes in a long time.”

  1. The best feeling is pulling off alone…it’s so quiet, yet you want to make it so loud…in your own way!

  2. Terram says:

    Oh, I so relate to this! It’s crazy the things we used to take for granted, isn’t it? I don’t miss my old job/career that much, but I really miss the commute. The commute I always hated. And the one that my husband gets to take every damn day, listening to his own music, in his relatively clean car, without a single question about caterpillars or legos, or a single demand for lost toys/snacks/loveys that rolled under the seat…

  3. I’m SO happy for you that you got that drive. Everyone needs that occasionally.

  4. January says:

    Even now that my boys are a little bit older I still get that feeling when I’m in the car by myself. And I regularly picture myself in a music video too whilst driving…doesn’t everyone do that? 😉 So happy you got that taste of freedom finally!

  5. Lee says:

    I prefer your lyrics. And Driving Women Pretending They’re in Music Videos should be a meme. With gifs.

  6. I felt just like this today when I left for work! My husband has President’s Day off, so I didn’t have to drive the 2YO to daycare. My commute is only 15 minutes, but my God were they a glorious 15 minutes.

  7. Jessica says:

    Oh isn’t that the best? I am currently home alone. Sick. But home by myself, not watching Nick Jr or double-bagging diapers.

  8. So awesome. There isn’t much like that Pat Benatar song to help a girl feel a little less burdened!

  9. OH, I remember the first time I drove after having my had been 6 weeks ( because I was crazy like that). I was alone, my legs felt wobbly and I felt eerily weird but elated. I believe I was on my way to a hair was a Saturday in May of 2005. Sun was shining the sky was blue, everything seemed more vibrant and alive. I turned up the music and I thumped to the base, looking out at the world like I had a secret underneath my giant sunglasses. The secret was that I was alone and I could hear my thoughts and feel my feelings and just be me…not Mommy, wife, milk supply…just Debi. I remember it like it was yesterday. I long for those quiet mind moments.

  10. Pet Benetar ignites that feeling in me too. It’s so surreal to do things without kids. But your concert sounds epic, and your psuedo-freedom sounds divine!

  11. Marta says:

    Ah, freedom. I think what I would enjoy the most is that silence. Despite the music and the singing there was the silence of no little voices talk talk talking. No errands running through your head. Silence. And music. Bliss.

  12. Stephanie says:

    I love my time alone in the car (and usually it is also when I am on my way to the grocery store on a weekend). I have to admit I love some of their kid’s music, but there is nothing like busting out a good old 80’s tune to make you feel alive and free! Even if it is 15 minutes.

  13. Heather says:

    Being in the car alone definitely inspires a feeling of freedom and escape!

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