I refuse to put that bumper sticker on my car.
You know the one.
You’ve been stuck behind it at a red light, and it offered you no entertainment or philosophical enlightenment.
Or perhaps you’re someone who has said bumper sticker – the one that says this:
My kid is on the honor roll at Such and Such Elementary.
Or some variation of that.
Before I became a parent, I made many decrees on what I would and would not do once motherhood arrived.
I swore I would never use my spit to wipe crusty stuff off of my kid’s face. I failed at that one pretty quickly because when you’re getting the family out of the car, don’t have a napkin, and your son’s face is peeling with dried mystery food, nothing works likes a little saliva. I’d now lick my kid’s face if I had to in order to keep the public from thinking we roll around in our food like animals.
I remember proclaiming that I would trust my children with the truth and embrace the season of giving without lying to them about a fat man in red called Santa. That was, of course until my son turned two and Christmas got fucking awesome.
I was anti-minivan. Mine has automatic doors and plays movies for the backseat passengers.
Several months ago I also caught myself using the phrase that every parent swears they will never say – because it was used on them, and it sucked. We have entered the four-year old stage of “why” and “why” and for the fiftieth time, “why”. I’ll tell you why – “Because I said so”.
We moved out to the suburbs.
I got a “mom bob” haircut (on accident, but all the same).
I sang the Barney theme song for a full year at bedtime.
I caved on all these things, but I have to stick to my guns at some point.
I will not put that bumper sticker on my car.
Perhaps I feel like it would declare that I’m a parent and nothing else that I used to be.
Perhaps it seems just too cliché and I want to fight it with what’s left of my eccentric self.
Or perhaps…
just perhaps…
it’s because my son hasn’t started elementary school yet.
Only time will tell.
OY! This is me…I mean I don’t have said sticker on my car…yet…at least I hope I won’t be THAT mom. I promised myself I wouldn’t be THAT mom. Stupid motherhood…and those kids…they play tricks on us you know.
Nicole J recently posted.."Hey girl, what ya been up to?"
You can do it, you can stick to your guns!!
Alison recently posted..Are You Judging Me?
Or, like what we like to say, “If they gave those bumper stickers out at our school, every single car in the parking lot would have one, we’re so awesome.”
xo
Alexandra recently posted..It’s Never Too Late To Get Involved
I make my kids lick my fingers and then I clean their face. What? It’s their own spit so there’s that.
Jen recently posted..“Check Your Headlights”
HAHAHAHA… When I am a parent…
Bunny recently posted..The summer of the Rum Old Fashioned.
Seriously. My life used to be full of “when I’m a parent”. I hope I have prepared you well…
Hahahaha! I have said I won’t do any of those things either (in my mind). Don’t have children (yet), so…we’ll see what happens. My husband and I just laughed about that bumper sticker the other day! We were like “who cares?”, but like I said, we don’t have children yet.
Miya Goodrich-Phillips recently posted..Beware, the Coyote?
Uh yeah – I don’t see that one either. At all!
Lady Jennie recently posted..Heritage
Barney Theme Song. Whatever.
I sang the clean-up song.
Sue recently posted..A Race of Our Own
Oh my… I STILL sing the clean up song, even when my kids aren’t around.
What about the soccer stickers/magnets on your gas cap? LOL…not the honor roll stickers. I feel like someone should beat ME up just for having it!
Shoo…I will be that mom that will put that bumper sticker on my car. I want everyone to know how smart my kid is and be like: “ha! In yo faces!”
Or something mature like that
Imperfect momma recently posted..Life with a boy