I Remember…

 

Every year on this date, this post is deleted from my archives and reposted in it’s new form.  It is tweaked… added to…

It grows as we do.

 

I remember your curly hair peeking out from your hat the first time I saw you.

I remember dancing on the street corner at 4 am.

I remember sharing dark secrets as strangers.

I remember swearing we weren’t looking for a serious relationship…

we sold everything and moved across the country together.

 

I remember our living room furnished with camping chairs.

I remember sleeping on the floor.

I remember the crate our TV sat on top of.

 

I remember the night you proposed…

The scavenger hunt you sent me on.

I remember saying, “I’ll totally marry you”.

 

I remember making our own wedding bands…

They gave me a blowtorch.

On the inside we wrote:

A deal is a deal.

 

I remember you almost passing out at the altar.

I remember not feeling nervous at all.

I remember making a honeymoon baby.

 

I remember the traumatic birth of our first son.

I remember you stepping up to the plate in the aftermath.

I remember you, exhausted and shirtless, with a sleeping newborn on your chest.

 

I remember you bed ridden for weeks after a surgery…

I emptied your urine bottle.

I took such good care of you.

I remember holding it against you.

 

I remember the tightness of your arms…

our bodies heaving with sobs…

as I miscarried.

 

I remember thinking this whole life together was a mistake.

I remember thinking it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

 

I remember our son’s little voice screaming “DA DA”…

to a sea of graduation caps…

and you holding up your Master’s Degree…

while a baby kicked inside my belly.

 

I remember changing my mind about having our second son…

but he was already on his way out.

“I’m so proud of you.  You are amazing.  I love you so much.  You can do this.”

 

I remember hitting you with an oven mitt…

but I don’t remember what the fight was about.

 

I remember cursing you for being so busy.

I remember being proud of you for working so hard.

 

Someday I will remember our shaky hands…

our old, spotted hands clasped together.

I will remember our children’s children…

running circles around our sons.

 

I will remember still sneaking to change the temperature on the thermostat.

I will remember your old fingers changing it back…

a gentle battle we will fight until we die.

 

I will remember growing…

sparring…

mending…

and loving.

Together.

After all…

A deal is a deal.

*****

 

- Happy Anniversary, Hot Nerd. Ten years together – six of them not in sin.  I remember so much, yet we’ve only just graduated from the kindergarden of our marriage.  We continue to learn how to live better and love better.

Life has thrown us in so many directions, and our demons are not completely conquered.  Yet in the midst of it all, we’ve made an amazing family.

We can do it…

As long as one of us remembers to hold out their hand…

and the other remembers to grab it.

 

we did it

 

 

jenni chiu sig

 

PS – In further celebration, here’s some more stuff I remember… in the form of past blog posts:

Our mostly silent first date – Two Inner Monologues at a Sunday Brunch

The time I let him take a razor blade to me – Because He Asked, “Do You Trust Me?”

The father – That Time. All the Time. 

Arguing about how we argue – Let’s Bicker About How We Bicker…

The time he made the Internet cry – The Anniversary Not Uncelebrated.

 

 

 

 

Discussion

  1. Erin white says:

    Maybe ill remember to do this… It’s beautiful!

  2. Simply beautiful! Happy Anniversary! A deal is a deal, love that!

  3. Happy Anniversary!
    Alison recently posted..Abundance

  4. This is beautiful. Happy Anniversary to you both!
    Shannon recently posted..40 Things

  5. Oh Jenni, I’m in a ball of ugly tears over here, reading this beautiful tribute to your husband. While I haven’t had the exact experiences, I’ve had similar. We celebrate 10 years in a couple of months, and this post perfectly captures all of those ups and downs a couple goes through. Just…lovely.
    Gina Jacobs Thomas (@totallyfullofit) recently posted..What Alex Rodriguez Taught My Son

  6. I LOVE this post. Love it.

    Happy anniversary!
    Jess recently posted..Moms That “Do It All”

  7. Happy anniversary! Love it!

  8. Awesome post…. really it is.

    I hope that you have a wonderful anniversary.

  9. Thank you for making me cry on the train. This was beautiful. Happy belated anniversary with the promise of so many more memories and years together.

    xo

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