Remember this post – Think For Me. Thank you. - where I asked you to pick from my incomprehensible notes on what I should write about? Some of you picked one in the comments, some of you over Facebook, and a lot of you on Twitter. Thank you for taking pity on a swollen pregnant woman and thinking for me.
I have come to one conclusion:
You are perverts.
The clear winner from the poll was this note right here:
Keep your tongue out of my Internet
Now, I swim in the social media ocean every day. I’ve built a lot of relationships online, and would say that over 85% of my communication with the world is done digitally. But part of the reason I like this digital world so much is because I can feel close to you guys without having to BE close to you guys. It’s the perfect little place for someone with social anxiety.
I know I tell you all that I love you – because I do.
But I feel no physical attraction to you… well, most of you. I do not need or want to know what your tongue feels like.
I’m serious.
Japanese scientists (leave it to the kinky Japanese) are exploring the idea of “tactile communication” over the Internet. In fact, they have developed a machine that could allow people to French Kiss through their computers.
The idea is that long distance couples can use it to feel close to one another. I, however think it would most likely be used by people who are not in relationships and can’t find people to french kiss them in real life. It would be like Chat Roulette only grosser.
Right now scientists are still in the beginning stages, and the prototype looks ridiculous… but it’s functional, and could become a reality very soon.
* The news of this actually broke a few months ago. I can’t believe none of you told me about it.
I love the Internet.
Keep your tongue out of it.
That is just one more way we distance ourselves from reality. Who needs a real life relationship when you can get physical contact and sensation over a computer? I’m all for finding friends on the internet, but there is a limit. REALLY, there should be limits! Oh, my.
pamela recently posted..Remembering the Lessons of 9/11: Today AND Tomorrow
I’m truly in awe that you managed to pull a post out of that!!!
I imagine you’ll get most search hits than ever on tongue Internet.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..I Am Not A Writer
WHATEVER!!!! you so want to get in my pants.
nic @mybottlesup recently posted..instead of complaining about moving
Shhh… You’re one of the lucky few.
I’m a little grossed out! Really? This is a possibility????
Missy | The Literal Mom recently posted..Defining Your Magic Moments
Thank GOD we are developing things like that instea of like, curing cancer or some silly stuff like that.
Minky {moo} recently posted..You know when your kid does something uber cute?
Wow, I am so behind the times. I literally have no idea what’s going on in this world, but like you, am seriously grossed out by internet kissing. Or tongueing. Or what have you. Yuck.
Thanks for visiting my site!
xo Chalupa
When the aliens come, and see what we’ve been doing with ourselves, they’re going to pull their spaceships up short and fly away quietly so as to avoid an awkward first encounter.
Haha… You are so right. They will do an about face and just pretend it never happened.
This is way better than practicing on our teddy bears.
Mandy_Fish recently posted..Scientists Baffled by Female Orgasm.
Ahhh… I never thought of it as a possible training aid…
you find the best stuff!
Alexandria recently posted..The greatest birthing story ever told
The Japanese are funny. P.S. I’m making out with my lap top right now.
Old School/New School Mom recently posted..It All Began With a Lost Earring
Heh heh… You don’t even wanna know what I just did with my iPhone.
Turned my stomach…
Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 recently posted..1st Day (finally…I’ve been waiting for this for weeks)
Shut up lady, you know you love me porn style and you want one of these kissy internet do hickies just to feel closer to me:)Bwahahaha!
Seriously,I did without my husband on a daily basis for over a year and no way Id be frenching the Big Guy via the internet. Besides, knowing that perv he would have stuck something else in it other than his tongue and killed him damn self:)LOL I think I just vomited in my mouth a little.
Truthful Mommy recently posted..How to Survive Shark Week without Someone Losing a Limb
Um, gross.
Also…really?!
Robin | Farewell, Stranger recently posted..First Day of Preschool
When I saw the title of this post, I honestly had NO idea what to expect (I was not one of those who voted). You made me spit out my coffee when you wrote: You are perverts! Hysterical! I hope the kissing thing is actually a joke—it is, isn’t it?
Book4MyDaughter recently posted..After September 11th: Our Story
I am glad your readers are perverts because “Keep Your Tongue Out Of My Internet” is a dam great title for this post. This what brought me to this post.
Craig_Os recently posted..Where Do You Waste The Most Of Your Time?
Wow. Looks like I picked the right day for my first visit here. *snicker*
Sue the Desperate Housemommy recently posted..(Almost) Wordless Wednesday: A Walking Tour