Love Is The Least Worthy Of Shame


I’ve given you my priceless opinion before about changing Facebook avatars for a cause.  For the most part, it does little in terms of action or funds for whatever the cause of the month actually is.  I’ve been vocal about not participating in these avatar changes because it feels like an easy way to pat yourself on the back for being an activist.

Today I eat my words.

Today I am changing my Facebook avatar.

Today I am changing it to this:




Over the next few days, the Supreme Court will hear testimony and decide if Proposition 8 will be repealed – allowing same sex marriages in California. Today gay and lesbian couples are asking the Supreme Court to allow them the right to be married, and the Federal benefits that go with it.  Honestly, because of the very  nature of the word “right” – it is theirs already, and they are simply asking that it not be denied.

I don’t need to change my avatar to show you I support gay marriage – I’ve never been quiet about where my support lies.  Will my avatar change or effect the Supreme Court’s decision? Probably not, but what DOMA and anti-same-sex marriage activists are trying to do is not what I would call “protecting the institution of marriage”.  They are trying to make same sex marriage unworthy, unequal, and shameful.

Of all the human attributes that have ever been known…

love is the least worthy of shame.

So I add my avatar – a drop into the sea of red that is growing as you read this.

I have always felt that the best way to battle shame is with openness.

Light in the dark.

Loud voices instead of secret whispers.

Public instead of private.

Somewhere there is a child too ashamed to come out to his parents.  Somewhere there are same sex couples who were married where it was permitted, but are still shy about telling anyone but their close friends.

I don’t do it for most of my gay and lesbian friends, because they know how I feel.  They are out and proud and battle the open injustice every day. I’m doing it to possibly open the minds of a few who thought this issue was for a “small fraction of liberals”.  I’m doing it for the visual – for the very tangible stream of red profile pictures that will swell someone’s heart or make someone else question theirs.

I’m doing it because a legion of supporters grows one person at a time – and I will make myself known as a supporter in every way I can.

I’m doing it for those who are made to doubt their love…

for those who are scared…

or confused…

or saddened by the fact

that certain human beings must still fight to be equal.






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11 responses to “Love Is The Least Worthy Of Shame”

  1. Perfect! We should all take a second to acknowledge and send our best hopes and wishes toward this fight for equality.

  2. Nolie says:

    I changed mine this morning as well. Though I am in Canada I REALLY hope your government today stops denying rights to so many. It isn’t just about the right to marry. It is a right to benefits, recognition. Even in the military one can not have their spouse of the same sex as next of kin and to access resources provided to military spouses.

  3. I changed mine too. Because in this instance, I think it’s important for my friends and family to know exactly how I stand on this issue. That sea of red may make someone feel brave enough to come out…or to support marriage equality despite their parents’ beliefs.

  4. Jessica says:

    I don’t usually change mine for a cause either but this was much different for me. Seeing facebook change as the day went on to a sea of read was such a great feeling. I hope that anyone out there who is doubting whether they are accepted or loved just as they are felt the love of social media today.

  5. Alison says:

    I with you on this, Jenni.

  6. Ilene says:

    I am so in love with your words – you really have no idea. I scoff at those Facebook campaigns too but I joined in on this one. For those who were made to doubt their love, like you say.

    So beautifully said. xo

  7. What a fantastic post in every way. I love the light instead of dark. Beautiful.

  8. Marta says:

    I can’t even get over how much of a smile I had on my face every time I saw someone switch their profile picture yesterday. Seeing the wave of red in my feed, I loved it. I hope that finally and soon this will no longer be up for conversation.

  9. So beautifully stated. I had been offline most of yesterday and my heart swelled when I logged on and saw the sea of red on Facebook and I changed my avitar. I never do that but felt compelled for many of the reasons you stated – to open the mind of “friends” on FB and to stand with and for love.

  10. […] Love is the least worthy of shame I usually don’t post anything political here or anything that is controversial but the question of marriage equity has been top of mind this week. I had been offline most of Tuesday and my heart swelled when I logged on to Facebook and saw the sea of red. I rarely change my avitar and never for a political cause or as a statement for a variety of reasons. But Tuesday? I changed mine. Jenni’s words explains why better than I ever could. […]

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