Tiptoe.
Tiptoe.
Tiptoe.
We pink-panther-styled it past the closed nursery door. I put a hand to my lips to remind my three year old that we absolutely didn’t want to wake the baby. We neared his own bedroom, and could see his bed – the “big boy bed”. The concept of staying in bed was still fairly new to my son, and I sent a prayer up to the sleep Gods that he wouldn’t get out of it five thousand times that night. As we approached the threshold of his bedroom, he shot his arm out, stopping me in my tracks.
“Mama” he whispered, “be careful of the chemicoals”.
I raised my eyebrows. ”Chemicals?”
“Yes” he said slowly, “the chemicoals on the carpet”.
My super sleuth brain concluded that he must have been talking about the carpet cleaner I had spot cleaned his room with the day before. Our previously housebroken dogs have taken to marking our new home by peeing in my sons’ room, and I’ve spent many an afternoon on my hands and knees scrubbing the carpet.
I was just about to inform my son that he need not worry because I vacuumed it all up the day before, when he grabbed my hand. ”You must be careful. Daddy said the chemicoals will burn your feet.”
Huhm.
Curious.
Then it dawned on me why my son had not gotten out of bed the night before – not even once. My husband had scared him into staying in bed. I’m sure it helped that every time I had to use any kind of carpet cleaner, I screamed when someone went near it, “Don’t step on it! It’s poisonus!”
My son looked expectantly up at me, and I realized he wanted me to carry him to his bed to keep his feet safe. I did so, while admonishing my husband in my head for deceiving our little guy. I wanted to tell him that there was nothing in his room that could hurt him – that mommy cleaned up all the chemicals already. But instead, we read a book.
I thought about it again as I sang Twinkle Twinkle to him, but my stomach started to rumble. I realized I hadn’t eaten yet, and after simultaneously nursing the baby while feeding the three year old, giving one bath after another, and getting the baby to sleep, I was quite tired.
So I kissed my son goodnight…
I tiptoed quickly to the door as if on hot sand…
and I threw in a “ouch, hot, ouch” for good measure.
Ha ha… done it!
Hahaha we are all big fat liars in motherhood. On New Year’s Eve we tell them it’s midnight in Texas when the ball drops in New York City. And that’s just one of oh so many little lies that keep me sane.
My dog has been doing that too – including his toddler crib! Ugh. I have some pretty safe stuff i use from my carpet guy. Have you used one for stopping marking pets yet? Otherwise they’ll keep doing the same place.
Yes… but they just go in a different spot of the room. Maddening! The dogs that lived here before us peed everywhere! The whole place stinks.
Brilliant tactic. I just wish my 2 year old could understand concepts like that, I will be lying in no time!
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..How Love Works
In a year or so, you’ll be weaving your own tangled web…
This is not lying… this is called ‘creative partenting’!
And use whatever you need to to get those little buggers to stay in bed at night.
With the exception of duct tape… right?
RIGHT?
This definitely does not count as lying. Consider it a way to maintain sanity. I actually think it is very clever and I’m sitting here thinking of some “lie” to tell my daughter to keep her hormones in control.
Jennifer Cullen recently posted..My Hairy-Armed Cocoon
When you think of one let me know. I’ll save it for the future.
Oh my dear,and so it begins.I try to be honest with my girls but I’ve had the occasional white lie like when my 3 year old decided she was adeathly afraid of chickens ad lemurs and so I transformed Febreeze into chicken and Lemur spray.Complete With skull and crossbones and eradicated the imaginary lemurs and chickens who had colonized underneath her bed.ad slogan: Kills chickens (& or Lemurs dead:)
Debi recently posted..Virginia Ultrasound Law~ The Government Mandated Rape of America’s Women
Why this never occurred to me I dont know. You really should write a parenting tips book. I’m remembering this one.
Minky {moo} recently posted..A strange side effect.
That is genius!
Alexandria recently posted..How Do You Apologize?
Lol, I would have done the same.
Marta recently posted..When Will It Be Enough?
Oh man. I don’t think I would have been able to resist either. Except I actually don’t think that would work on my son. Stubborn little bugger.
Robin @ Farewell, Stranger recently posted..Writing Dangerously