So, since I have declared myself to be in a state of Uncomfortable Kindness, I have had my eyes peeled for opportunities to be kind.
This is going to be an interesting ride, folks.
Here’s my latest:
I’m driving home from getting the doggies groomed. As we drive through an intersection, I see a young homeless girl on the corner holding up a sign. I’m moving too fast to see what the sign says, but one word was written larger than the others- HOPE. I am struck by her youth, she looks maybe 18 or 19, and as we pass, she puts her head down slowly and closes her eyes, almost in defeat.
I decide that she must be hungry, and I pull into a 7-11, and put together a little goodie bag.
I get back in the car and head back toward the intersection where I saw her. I immediately start to feel, you know, uncomfortable. What am I going to say to her? What if she doesn’t like the sandwich? This lemonade is loaded with sugar- I should have gotten something healthier. What if she doesn’t eat the sandwich right away, the mayonnaise spoils, and she gets food poisoning? Should I invite her to my house for dinner? What if she’s on drugs and punches me? The usual…
But all these questions don’t matter, because as I approach the intersection, I see that she is gone. What? How can this be? I took maybe ten minutes.
I look around and see that she is sitting near a bus stop on the other side of the street. I pull a U turn- because I am on a mission, and drive into the gas station directly next to her.
Then, to my chagrin, she pulls out an iPhone and starts making a call!
A PHONE CALL!
ON HER SPARKLY PHONE!
I feel the grip on my goodie bag getting tighter, and I look over at my two dogs and say out loud, “What the fuck?”
Then, two young men join her, and one lights up a cigarette. I catch a glimpse of a hand held video camera in his other hand.
I realize that they are filming some sort of independent movie.
I tear out of the gas station thinking, only in fucking LA would my homeless girl turn out to be a movie star.
I can’t help feeling like the victim of a big trick.
But, of course, it being a big city, I need only drive a half mile to find someone else in need. So, that’s what I do.
In the end, I found an old man, at another intersection, with no iPhone.
He took my plastic bag of goodies. Before even looking inside, he looked me in the eyes, smiled a somewhat toothless grin, and said, “Bless your family.”
I wish I had a portable video recorder, and could have caught his face at that moment. Because I felt like he really was bestowing a blessing on us. For a split second, I wasn’t thinking about how hard our lives had become, I wasn’t wallowing in my stress pool, and keeping tabs on all the shitty things that have happened to me. I actually felt blessed.
It’s weird how this state of uncomfortable kindness can sometimes make me feel…
well…
still…
and…
I guess…
sort of, comfortable.
PS- I’ve made Uncomfortable Kindness a new category here, as I hope to continually post about it.
PPS- Los Angeles kinda sucks sometimes.
What a great LA slice of life. Yeah, we suck sometimes. But who doesn't?
I truly think that you are a beautiful writer. And, I also think you were meant to find that man.
My recent post Bunions and Lemons- Getting Off On The Right Foot
I just had to let you know (maybe my one act of Uncomfortable Kindness today) that this made me cry. Too often do we take for granted what we have. Too often do we only think about what we don’t have. We need reminders, like this, every once in a while to help us appreciate our lives and how blessed we really are. Thank you for that reminder. This was wonderful! And so glad you found someone who really needed the goodie bag.
It was a reminder I very much needed myself. I can teach master classes on complaining…
Way way diggit MommyNaniBooBoo, keep on truckin’. I like to offer food, etc, rather than just give money, as well. I’d actually like to research shelter services, counseling for the homeless. Volunteering for them is good, too, but with little ones, time is the most precious resource (and money is always limited unless you’re one of the lucky few). But these are the steps I consider beyond taking care of me and mine (which can be plenty overwhelming already) and looking to do more for others, so please pardon the mild rambling as I applaud the steps you’ve take.
But measure what the kindness did for you … and the man you helped. What the blessings for your family mean and why they were bestowed.
And you of all people know, even a girl with an iPhone could be in need. There are all types of needs; physical, mental and emotional – and althouth your immediate act of kindness didn’t seem to hit the first mark, in the end you filled the needs of 4 people … the old man, Hot Nerd, Bam Bam and yourself.
I’d say you were nothing short of a Saint today.
PS. LA still rocks, and don’t be coy, you already know that everyone in LA is an actor. lol
I think it's hard to say when it comes to the homeless. Especially in LA. I used to pass this one woman every day. Weekends too. She was always there. Gave her money for years probably. My brother once went to go and talk to her. Turns out she makes 40k a year. On that street corner. No joke. Granted it was Brentwood area…but still.
I'm glad you found someone else to give the meal too. My uncle was homeless. For most of my life. Most people out there, really do need the help.
I lived in LA for seven years, and the first part of this story made me laugh out loud!
But good for you to persevere and find someone who could actually use help. I think you’re a lot more naturally kind than you give yourself credit for.
Amanda Broadfoot
“Life is a spectrum.” http://www.AmandaBroadfoot.com
i love this grass watering LA style!
Oh I knew you would like it.
guess I just misplaced my watering can for a while…
That is hilarious. What a story! I wonder if that would happen in NYC. I could see it. Excellent food and beverage choices for the goody bag. I mean, I’m not homeless and I wanted all of those items!
you are the balls.
you rock!! i once gave a simple granola bar to a homeless guy, and as luck would have it, the light turned red before i could get through the intersection. so he trots up to my car and motions for me to roll the window down and he leaned down and looked right into my eyes and said “you are an angel, madam.” i will never forget how i felt when he said those words. but, like you, i live in fear of uncomfortableness and i have never done it again! i needed your inspiration to continue giving to others in this way–because we have far more than we could ever NEED, and i feel blessed beyond imagination. thanks for the push i needed to make this change!
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.
Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, ‘God! How could you do this to me?’
Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! ‘How did you know I was here?’ asked the weary man of his rescuers. ‘We saw your smoke signal,’ they replied.
Keep the Faith Jennifer
The Moral of This Story:
It’s easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn’t lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering.
Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground.
It just may be a smoke signal that summons
the Grace of God.
you. are amazing. i am dead dog tired as i got home a short while ago from my 10 hour shift at work. but i am off work tomorrow and look forward to spending a lot of time on your blog. cant wait to get to know you. … and … thank you. again.