Prodromal labor, false labor, pre-labor – suck it.
´”How far apart have they been?”
I looked at my digital stop watch, “5 minutes, 3 minutes, 12 minutes, 25 minutes”.
I was excited. Even though the contractions were very irregular, something was definitely happening. The contractions were fairly strong and on again off again all night long. This baby was on it’s way soon!
>> Fast forward three days. <<
Chinese water torture sounds like a fuzzy adult Snuggie right now.
I sit here in front of this computer screen having had a minute amount of sleep over the past three days. Roller coaster contractions that completely disappear for an hour or two have pretty much exhausted my body.
I am the zombie apocalypse. If you speak to me, I will probably stare at you blankly. If you come too close, I will bite you. Plus, I make an awful lot of moaning/grunting sounds.
Prodromal labor can suck it.
Some call it “false labor” or “pre labor”. Sure, I have heard of it, but didn’t experience it with my first son. And I had no idea how exhausting it could be… and that it could go on for days and days.
I’m dilated to 3 centimeters, but the contractions aren’t at regular enough intervals to do anything but make me uncomfortable and keep me up at night. The crazy thing is, my pubic bone is not hurting. Yes, that’s right – the already separating pubic bone that has made it nearly impossible for me to walk this past month… feels totally fine right now. I’ve been a walking machine – possibly another sign that I am a zombie. I could walk for days just grunting and searching for food.
So that’s where I’m at right now.
A little bit hungry for flesh.
And, yes, I’m trying my best to think positively…
I know my body is “practicing”. I know at some point there will be a baby.
However, my body had been getting pumped for this child for three full days.
I’m pretty sure my uterus could crush a beer can on it’s forehead right now.