The altered friendship. Also, weirdos are my muse.

Rocky swung open his front door and inhaled the warm smell of home.  He removed his blue aviator goggles from atop his head and tossed it onto the coat rack.  He loved this time – the time when the sun was kissing the horizon.  The world outside was quieting, and he poured a snifter of brandy to help him play along.

He settled into his favorite soft chair and slowly munched on a fistful of nuts.  The brandy felt warm in his belly, but a glance at the clock stopped any relaxation in its tracks.  It was 7:04 pm.  He side-eyed the telephone, almost certain it would ring at 7:05 like it had for the past two nights in a row.

Rocky thought of his friend – his best friend in all the world.  He could not comprehend the turn their friendship was taking.  He felt blind sighted.  He felt like the universe was playing a huge practical joke on him.  Only no one was laughing.  If anything, he was scared.

His eyes darted toward the clock.  It still said 7:04.

He grabbed another fistful of nuts and wiped a bead of sweat off his forehead.

He chewed aggressively.

He tapped his foot.

He shook his head saying to himself, “Not tonight.  It’s not going to ring tonight.  It’s all over.  It was all just a bad dream.”

7:05

The ring made him jump.  He spilled his brandy on his arm.  He licked it off.

RING.

He tapped his foot.

RING.

He shook his head.

RING.

Before his left hand could stop it, his right hand picked up the phone and pressed it to his still shaking head.

 

Rocky: (eyes squeezed shut) Hello?

*silence*

Rocky knew it was him.  He knew it would be just like last night, and the night before.  His eyes darted to the window… to the door… to the kitchen.  The sound of his pulse in his ears was making him dizzy, but he couldn’t bring himself to hang up.

Rocky: (in a small voice) Hello.

Bullwinkle: (lowly) What are you wearing?

The end.

*****

Every now and then I write a post to cater to misguided googlers.  This fictional post is dedicated to the weirdo  who was brought to my blog by googling the phrase “dirty moose”.

Discussion

  1. Cindy says:

    Comic Gold – you are pure genius. I love this. I love your dedication to your weirdo muse. Great story.

  2. debbi says:

    Is it weird to be LingMAO in my work bathroom? Because I am.

  3. LOVE your commitment to NEVER disappoint. xo
    Alexandra/The Empress recently posted..What The World Can Learn From The Quiet Ones

  4. This is epically awesome…love the build up!!
    Jules @ A Little Bite of Life recently posted..Five of My Favorite Cooking/Food Romantic Comedy Movies

  5. Anonymousmomma says:

    Hahahahahaha!
    Anonymousmomma recently posted..I’m just gonna laugh

  6. There are no words to describe how awesome this is. Except maybe…awesome? Awesome! LOVED how you came up with this one. So good.
    January recently posted..Nature Walk

  7. lol. we call our dog moose. So now I’m thinking of dirty tings that my weimaraner would do. Which is plentiful.
    Marta recently posted..I Try.

  8. People are so bizarre, aren’t they? LMAO
    Shell recently posted..Things They Can’t Say about Summer

  9. Michelle says:

    Oh Jeez. I can’t even function now I’m laughing so hard. You’re full of surprises! That’s what I love about coming here.

  10. You are such a giver.
    Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..Friday Tapas: The Sleep-Deprived Edition

  11. Jenni? I <3 U
    John recently posted..Where I like my kids

  12. Okay, this is hilarious and perfect and so many other adjectives I can’t think of right this moment. But I’m pretty sure I’d buy this as a book.
    Megan (Best of Fates) recently posted..Fake Interviews with Authors I Adore (John Grisham Example Included)

  13. Oh, wow. I just loved this. So very MUCH. Thank you for giving us all a treat with this hilarious post.

    I should really start responding to the weird searches I get on my blog, too… So much untapped blog fodder!

    Stopping in from the Weekend Spotlight over at Studio30Plus and so very glad that I did. Hope you are enjoying your weekend!
    Charlotte recently posted..Giverny by way of the New York Botanical Garden

  14. Dirty moose :) Love how you come up with the BEST ideas for new posts — and make them work!
    Kimberly recently posted..Crazy? Count to 27. For real.

  15. Hmmm…. I don’t look at the search terms/phrases that bring people to my blog. Maybe I should now and if nothing else then it will be cheap entertainment.
    Jackie recently posted..Wordful Wednesday – The Gypsy Girl

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