Toddler brains- fried.

The following post takes place in about a minute and a half.


Sweetheart, do you need more snack?  Would you like a biscuit?  Or raisins?


OOOh, if I put my foot here, and then fold myself in half while winking each eye simultaneously, everything looks really cool.  And it’s the doggie! She runs so fast from me.  Where’s my cookie?  I think I’ll eat my fingernail. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O.

“Momma! I’m upside down!”

*spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin giggle spin spin spin spin spin fall down*

What’s this on the table?  Whoa, I’m dizzy.  I’m gonna throw it.  That’s cool.  Let’s throw it again.  Throwing is the best. Thing . Ever.  Where did the doggie go?

Where did my train go?  What’s that on my foot?  What’s that on the floor? I think I’ll eat it. Crunchy.  Where’s my basketball? I need mommy to make a hoop with her arms.  I NEED mommy to make a hoop with her arms.  I NEED MOMMY TO MAKE A HOOP WITH HER ARMS.  Oh a feather.  I think I’ll blow it.  Ha ha!  Look at t hat.  I can blow it far.  Let’s blow it across the floor!  Where did my pants go?  Did I just take my pants off?  Who took my pants?  It’s the other doggie!  I don’t need this silly shirt if I’m not even wearing pants.  That sticker looks like a circle.  Circle.  Circle.  My arm is stuck.  I hate this shirt.

*spin spin spin spin spin spin giggle spin spin fall down*

Who needs arms?  Arms are dumb.  But feet are cool.  I love my feet.  Ack! Something’s in my eye!  What’s in my eye?  It’s itchy!  Ack!  It’s the scariest thing ever!  It’s going to eat my eye!  My eye!  My eye!  Hey, there are my pants.

Did you hear me, baby?  Would you like a biscuit?  Or raisins?

Why is the world such an awful place?



My son is a monkey on acid.

He has decided he no longer takes naps.  He’s always been a champion sleeper, and quite frankly is just one of those kids that needs it.

He will be three in a few months, and I am well aware that at his age he should still be napping in the afternoon.  He hasn’t napped in weeks, and his brain is starting to short circuit.

So is mine.

Send help ASAP.

11 responses to “Toddler brains- fried.”

  1. Sending yet another little person in the mail to help out ( since the last one got lost…damn little people). My Gabs, too, has abandon the nap and desperately needs them. Hell, I need them.Don’t be afraid to slip him a baby mickey…warm milk? Maybe take him outside and let him run til he collapses? Or.(shhhh) I hear benadryl knocks babies out fast..(SHHHH) it is after all allergy season. Wait! Listen!I heard him cough!:)

  2. cjlowder says:

    Completely understand! But have some hope! My little guy turned 3 in November and last year he went through a stage like that were he didn’t want naps either, but now he will tell me he’s tired and wants to lay down! Some days he will just get cranky and I make him sit down or lay down on the couch and he passes out almost instantly!

  3. Leighann says:

    Lol. This post makes me happy.

  4. omg…the loss of the afternoon nap sends me into the fetal position.

    it’s so nice to know that other kids have an issue with sudden foreign objects in the eye that send them into complete spasms.

    i hate hate hate the spinning!

  5. Crystal says:

    OMGosh you are hilarious! How you got into the crazy mind of a toddler/preschooler…I’ll never know. BUt you did it w/o flaw. That was great!!

  6. Oh balls! That is unfortunate but also hilarious! I can relate to these thought processes. I started doing Quiet Time. I.E. “you don’t have to sleep, just lay down and ‘read’ your books with the door closed. He passes out after five minutes.

  7. Oh my gosh, we’re going through the same! Wee ‘Burb is going from 2 naps to 1 and we’re just having some of these days where I think she got into my anxiety pills or something. Like, why is the word “off” the most hysterical thing EVER???

    I’m not convinced she doesn’t need 2 naps.

  8. Kimberly says:

    My kids never napped past 2 and a half. Ever.

    Now my teenager sleeps all the time. He takes 3 naps a day on the weekends. I figure he’s catching up. So, would it help to know that in 10 years, you’ll probably have to pry him out of bed with a crowbar?

  9. Sounds like just another day in my house of three boys! BTW quote of the day “My son is a monkey on acid”. Awesomesauce!

    Margaret (@goodbadfamily)

  10. Why do these little dudes think they’re so smart? Gah.

  11. Wonderful words, Jenni. It’s amazing the learning that a two year old needs to do, every day. And it’s easy to forget that from the perspective of that two year old, that two years is a lifetime of experience. There is so little that they know, yet what they know is everything that they know.

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