Two Inner Monologues At A Sunday Brunch.
Wow, look at you with the connections.
Um… yeah. Pretty popular place. Have you ever been here before?
No… I’ve heard it’s good.
Yeah it is. It’s one of the most famous brunch places in the city, and if the hostess wasn’t a former co-worker of mine we’d be waiting an hour and a half outside like all those hungry suckers. Wait – she’s heard of it. Does that mean she’s impressed? The way she said that, “…with the connections”. It sounded so flat. What did she mean by that?
He’s totally trying to impress me right now. Do I want the Eggs Benedict or the French toast?
They have amazing white chocolate French toast. Would you like to split it?
And maybe get some other stuff…
Yeah. Hash browns. Bacon…
(Twenty minutes later.)
Wow, she sure doesn’t say much. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten almost an entire meal without exchanging words before. Perhaps this isn’t going well. She seems to be enjoying the food. She’s actually quite an impressive eater. Oh, there see – she’s smiling at me. That’s a good sign. Let’s get her another mimosa. I don’t think she’s dumb… I can see her wheels turning… I think. Maybe she’s shy… Maybe she hates me…
(nodding and smiling) Mmm Hmmm.
What is she thinking?
I’m so glad he’s comfortable with silence. I hate having to make excruciating small talk while I’m eating. People should really not talk at all during meals – someone almost always ends up speaking with their mouth full in an effort to fill the lull. I also hate the sound of open mouth chewing – ew. I guess that really makes going out to eat a bad date choice. I wonder why so many people do it. Maybe on a good date not much of the food gets eaten because they’re so busy chatting it up – but then what’s the point? I should get another mimosa.
What the fuck is she thinking?
He’s got this weird vein in his forehead that is just throbbing away right now. I wonder if he can feel it. I think I have food in my teeth.
Excuse me. I’m going to the restroom.
Well she sure looks good when she’s walking away.
He’s absolutely checking out my ass right now.
(five minutes later)
You’re back. I didn’t know if you wanted more coffee or not.
(sitting down) No thanks. I’m good.
She clearly must not be having a good time. Should we still go to this street festival thing after brunch? I have to. I have to see this date through…
This is eerie. She is eerie quiet. This is like watching some odd winter storm – it could go very bad very quickly… or it could end up being quite beautiful. Hmm…
Well, the food is gone and the check is paid. We have talked about nothing and found no commonality yet. Should I strike up some more conversation or…
We should probably get going. There are a lot of people waiting for a table. Festival time?
Yes! Yes. Festival time.
Do I pull her chair out? Crap – she’s up. If I walk ridiculously fast I can get the door.
Man, this place is way too crowded and noisy for me. I gotta get out of here. He must be overwhelmed too – he’s walking faster than I am.
(grabbing the door) I have absolutely no idea how this date is going.
(walking through the door) I think I kinda like this guy.
PS – I’m not sure quite how much of this is true… but I do know that four years later we got married.