I went to the DMV.
I almost cried, daydreamed about punching someone, and needed a shower immediately afterward.
I stood in one line- the one for people who have “appointments”…
got to the window and was told to take my car and get in another line…
then to come back to the original line…
so I could get a number…
for the next line.
Two hours later, I was still in that stinking building, with a major headache, and a bored, wiggly, screechy two year old.
Oh, we played games, we read, we had snacks, we sang songs… we annoyed the hell out of most people there.
And for the most part my son did very well. There were no melt downs (thanks to it being before nap time), and the only mishap was him telling me he had to pee, and me telling him there was no potty. He is potty training, but I put Pull-ups on him, because I simply could not fathom placing his little bottom on a gross DMV public toilet seat. It went against every fiber of my being, but I told him just this once it was okay to go in his Pull-ups. I’m sure I’ll regret it later this week.
Are you a parent of toddler?
If so, the otherwise dull task of running errands is ten times more stressful than it needs to be.
The DMV, the doctor’s office, getting your car serviced- it all just becomes a little bit ridiculous.
There are the silent prayers before entering the building, “Please let the wait be short. Please let the wait be short.”
And the bribes at the door, “If you can sit still and use your inside voice, I see some ice cream in your future…”
Then the apologies to strangers, “I’m sorry, I think my son ate your purse handle….”
Asking a one, two, or three year old to sit still for longer than ten minutes is damn near impossible. Toddlers have no impulse control. It’s just the stage of development they’re in.
So, if you have a toddler with you, I don’t think you should ever have to wait in line.
Ever.
We need a pass.
So I made one.
Feel free to print it and tell me if it works for you.
I have a lunch date with God later this week. I really think it would be best if these passes just came out of the vagina along with the baby. I’ll let you know how it goes.
I hope I don’t have to go back to the DMV for years. It can make you want to scoop your eyes out regardless of whether or not you have a little one with you.
But my son did get ice cream afterward.
And the only person to pee their pants was me…
because my ass is way to pretty to sit on a DMV public toilet.
I love that pass! Wish someone had thought of it earlier. I just try to avoid doing errands altogether when I have the toddler in tow. So thank you!
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Writers Workshop- Verbal diarrhea and the memory of an elephant
I WISH I could avoid errands! It seems my life is one errand after another.
This pass will come in handy next time.
HA!
Oh man, I totally want those passes. You should print and sell them. I’d buy ‘em.
KLZ recently posted..Three Little Words
I think I will sell them. Artistic value alone is at least a buck.
Exactly why when I have appointments that may take forever I make the hubby stay home with my son! But we’re lucky enough that his job is so flexible and he has so much PTO stored up that we can do this! I could have used this with my daughter when she was little though LOL
Oh I’m so jealous. Can he spare a little of that PTO to come over to my house? I have a doctor’s appointment next Friday.
Straight out the vagina! Oh, thank you. I needed this today
Lee recently posted..Previous Post- Revisited
Nothing like vagina talk to brighten your day!
xoxo
I’ve used that pass before. At the DMV, no less. “You’re having a hard time processing registrations today? I hope you get mine done in the next 15 minutes, or we’re all going to be sorry! That’s when nap time is supposed to start!”
I was out in ten.
Sarah recently posted..Just Another Weekend
Whoa. Impressive. At our DMV, I think they actually get paid extra not to care.
That is fantastic. I need one of those, or more like 5000 of them. The other day Ari was told by a stranger to stop “sliding” down a wooden window sill that happened to be slanted. I was like “good luck with that one.”
This is just brilliant! We need to be helped soon, or else the children will start destroying things…or people. Copyright those passes ASAP!
Old School/New School Mom recently posted..Tell Me a StoryOn The Toilet
bwahahaha!THe passes are genius and I swear to God, I am printing them out, laminating those bitches and handing them out to every friend or sister of mine that gets pregnant.P.S. My baby sister just found out she is pregnant and due in January!You know what that means? This crazy biatch gets to be Godmother to one more baby!WOohoo!I love being the Godmother!
Truthful Mommy recently posted..Resolving to Incite a Revolution in 2011
YEEESSSSS! I love that pass!
Alexandria recently posted..Today I don’t feel like doing anything
It TOTALLY feels like you need a shower after a trip to the DMV. Word, mama.
Dre recently posted..Burst Your Bubble Balloon
Blah…I totally get it…I have 2.5 year old twins. Nothing is easy and everything seems to take 10x more time than it should!
Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 recently posted..Makes My Monday- The Bucketheads
I am gonna print that pass. But also? Add I’m knocked up so I should also be able to use that pass.
The last time I went to the Social Security office I felt the same way, in desperate need of a shower. That’ll teach me to lose my social security card again.
Jess@StraightTalk recently posted..Baby Face