Once You See This It Will Completely Change the Way You See the Internet

 

click bait

 

 

People of the Internet,

We are at DEFCON 1 with the click-bait nowadays.

I got tired of being that fish quite a while ago.  I became so disappointed in all the articles that I clicked on that did not in fact “blow my mind”, or “change the way I cut all my fruit”, or “restore my faith in humanity”. I stopped clicking.  The second a headline suggested it was going to change my life was the second I clicked elsewhere…

but it’s getting harder and harder to swim past the hook because I’m hungry for content, and these headlines are telling me that “this-is-the-most-important-content-ever-you-have-to-click-it will-blow-your-mind-CLICK-NOW-FREAKING-NOW”.

It’s not just the one or two notorious websites anymore either – ALL the websites want titles that are “clickable”.  Who doesn’t want to be clicked?  Everyone wants to be clicked!

I’m starting to get very very anxious about the click-bait situation…

I can either continue to pass on all the headlines that claim they will change my life…

or I can click on ALL THE LINKS.

It is impossible for someone with the level of anxiety that I have to just click on some of them…

because, you guys, what if I miss THE ONE – the one article that really is going to “change the way I see everything”?  I am at a point in my life where it would be incredibly beneficial to “change the way I see everything”, and I don’t want to miss that opportunity…

and before any of you start telling me that the way to truly change how I see the world is to find it somewhere deep inside myself, I’m going to tell you I know that… but part of it can also COME FROM THE INTERNET.  That’s what the Internet is for!

I’m absolutely positive that people are creating content out there that could change my life.  The Internet changes people’s lives everyday… but I don’t know where to find the good stuff anymore because my whole facebook stream has become one huge boy that cried “wolf”.

I have anxiety.  When you try to make me feel like whether or not I click on your link is a matter of life and death…

well, I kind of believe you.

So I’m going to have to either start clicking on it all and staying up for 28 hours every day, or putting blinders on and ignoring every other status update in my social media stream.

Please, can all of the headline writers in all of the land stop magnifying my anxiety and maybe just give me a little bit of truth (FOX news exempt,of course)…

and before you all tell me that the Internet is not the place to find truth, I’m going to go ahead and tell you to shut up, because if that’s the case, then the Internet is useless to me…

and this macbook costs over $900, so…

no.

 

Sincerely,

jenni chiu sig

 



8 responses to “Once You See This It Will Completely Change the Way You See the Internet”

  1. DOH! You totally got me, Jenni! Nicely done.

    I hear what you’re saying. However, as one of those headline writers for InThePowderRoom.com, I will say that it is harder and harder to get page views these days given the mind-boggling amount of content generated every second on the WWW. A catchy headline and a sexy photo are an editor’s best tools to stand out from the crowd and pique potential readers’ interest. It’s our job to get writers the clicks they deserve, and the uniques we need to keep the lights on. #truth

    • Jenni Chiu says:

      I totally understand the need for a headline that grabs – many sites I work for require I submit highly click-tastic titles. The aggressive-ness is starting to get to me, though. It’s a fine art – making people want to click without professing to “blow their mind” or “change their world”. I think In the Powder Room does it well. 😉

  2. Alison says:

    Oh yes, SF Globe LOVES headlines like, “You won’t believe what happened next!” and it really isn’t that mind-blowing. Sigh. I understand the need for the tactic though – we are just inundated with information.

  3. Jessica says:

    The click bait is getting really disheartening. I wa talking with a few bloggers about this yesterday. Aside from finding good, true things to read, it’s getting harder and harder to find writing jobs that don’t want posts loaded with over inflated claims.

    • Jenni Chiu says:

      Yes, as a writer… my goodness yes, Jessica. The title structures I’m being sent as guidelines are demotivating me. I think you know exactly what I mean.

  4. Elaine A. says:

    This is me… ” I am at a point in my life where it would be incredibly beneficial to change the way I tend to see things, and I don’t want to miss that opportunity…” ha!

    Although it’s not really that funny…

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