We Need A Reality Show About People Who Don’t Take Apart The Oreo.


What we need is a reality show about people who don’t take apart the Oreo before they eat it.  I know some people who don’t do it – not even a little piece.  They are not tempted in any way to lick the creamy insides.  I’d like to hear them defend themselves.  I’d also like to put them in a house with ten other cookie eaters who only eat the cookie after eating the creme.  Dunk?  No dunk?  Double stuff?  No Oreo at all because of all the refined sugar?  There could be some serious cookie drama on a show like that.


I would also like to see a show about people who put the toilet paper roll on with the paper rolling out underneath instead of over top.  I would be interested in seeing what makes these people tick.  I want to know what has happened in their lives that leads them to the “under” toilet paper choice.  Most of all, I just want to hate them.  Under is wrong.  Over is right.


I’m also hoping that soon I will be able to watch reality programming that covers things like mothers who have infants and still keep their nails super long and painted.  How do they get their squiggly infant dressed without poking his/her eye out?  Why would they risk scratching their child’s butt as they wipe it, or worse – scooping poop with their nail?


Above all, though, I’d really like to see some scandalous reality show footage of mothers who have chosen to breastfeed their children beyond their first birthday – oh wait, yay, it’s already in the works!



Thank goodness, because we thrive so on sitting on our couches, pointing, and judging choices that are different than our own.  We need the drama, the ridiculous drama that the microscope of the camera brings out.

We need it…

and hoorah for us, we’re getting it…

another reality show centered around something that

isn’t a big fucking deal








4 responses to “We Need A Reality Show About People Who Don’t Take Apart The Oreo.”

  1. Alison says:

    With shows about swamp people, NOTHING surprises me anymore. Disgusts me, yes. Surprises me, no.

  2. Michelle says:

    Oh, I really hope they didn’t lure these moms into it under the guise of “enlightening the masses”, and then filmed it in a way that only creates drama…
    Wait, what am I saying – of course they did.

  3. Jessica says:

    Seriously? How many more can they possibly make, although, however gross, I would have liked to know how to maintain my nails and my kids behinds.

  4. John says:

    I’m an “under” person.

    I know, I’m evil.

    I used to be an “over” person, but then I had to change a roll of toiler paper during a power outage, and, well, it’s a whole lot easier to find the start of the roll when rolling “under” than it is “over.”

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