Sometimes email saves my marriage.

Thank you to Yahoo! Mail for sponsoring this post about staying connected. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

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If you read my last post on email love, then you know I suffer from No Telephone Skills-itus.

What I did not tell you is that email is also probably responsible for saving my marriage on a number of occasions.  Okay, I claim some responsibility myself, but a healthy fist bump goes out to Yahoo! (my email service provider), for being my handy dandy, marriage fix-it tool.

Hot Nerd and I have some good fights under our belt.  But as *ahem* eloquent as I am in my writing, I am not so skilled at communicating when in the middle of an argument.  I tend to get emotional, walk away, or cry and walk away, or yell… and then walk away… only to come back to squeeze the last word in… and then cry… and then walk away.

The next day, I’m left feeling unsettled, unheard, and probably sheepish for yelling.

Years ago my mom gave me some advice.  She told me to sit down, organize my thoughts, and send what I truly wanted to say in an email to Hot Nerd.  I’ve found that I’ve needed to do that on a number of occasions.

I’m sure I should spend a little more time organizing my thoughts before I type anything out, but the good thing about email is I can review it before I hit send.

Usually I type out something like this:

Oh light of my life,

I love you and it saddens me that we are not on the same page about when our son is ready for preschool.  I called you a big jerkface because YOU ARE.

You are basically an idiot who is simply trying to be a dictator, when you have absolutely no idea what goes on everyday in our household, and how our son is growing and changing.  Also, what was with the stupid snoring last night?  When did you become an old man who can’t breathe at night?  I know it was just to keep me up.  That melted piece of tupperware?  Yeah, that’s because you put it on the bottom rack of the dishwasher- you never listen to me.  It’s like talking to a wall.  I totally elbowed you in the ribs last night in bed on purpose.  You deserved it.  Stop being a douche canoe.

It’s my way on the preschool situation.  I’m the mother.  I’m right.  I win.

xoxo

PS- be home for dinner by 6:30 or I’m changing the locks.

 

I usually feel much better, take the time to edit, and eventually hit send on something like this:

Hon,

I’m sorry about last night.  I love you and think I have a couple more options we can talk about regarding the preschool situation.

I hate it when we fight.

xoxo

PS- Be home for dinner at 6:30.  I’m making something special.

 

Divorce averted.

Thanks mom for the advice.

And thanks lovely email, for being there when I can’t take my foot out of my mouth long enough to say I’m sorry in person.

** Of course now I could just send something like this-