Love Is The Least Worthy Of Shame

 

I’ve given you my priceless opinion before about changing Facebook avatars for a cause.  For the most part, it does little in terms of action or funds for whatever the cause of the month actually is.  I’ve been vocal about not participating in these avatar changes because it feels like an easy way to pat yourself on the back for being an activist.

Today I eat my words.

Today I am changing my Facebook avatar.

Today I am changing it to this:

equal

equal

 

Over the next few days, the Supreme Court will hear testimony and decide if Proposition 8 will be repealed – allowing same sex marriages in California. Today gay and lesbian couples are asking the Supreme Court to allow them the right to be married, and the Federal benefits that go with it.  Honestly, because of the very  nature of the word “right” – it is theirs already, and they are simply asking that it not be denied.

I don’t need to change my avatar to show you I support gay marriage – I’ve never been quiet about where my support lies.  Will my avatar change or effect the Supreme Court’s decision? Probably not, but what DOMA and anti-same-sex marriage activists are trying to do is not what I would call “protecting the institution of marriage”.  They are trying to make same sex marriage unworthy, unequal, and shameful.

Of all the human attributes that have ever been known…

love is the least worthy of shame.

So I add my avatar – a drop into the sea of red that is growing as you read this.

I have always felt that the best way to battle shame is with openness.

Light in the dark.

Loud voices instead of secret whispers.

Public instead of private.

Somewhere there is a child too ashamed to come out to his parents.  Somewhere there are same sex couples who were married where it was permitted, but are still shy about telling anyone but their close friends.

I don’t do it for most of my gay and lesbian friends, because they know how I feel.  They are out and proud and battle the open injustice every day. I’m doing it to possibly open the minds of a few who thought this issue was for a “small fraction of liberals”.  I’m doing it for the visual – for the very tangible stream of red profile pictures that will swell someone’s heart or make someone else question theirs.

I’m doing it because a legion of supporters grows one person at a time – and I will make myself known as a supporter in every way I can.

I’m doing it for those who are made to doubt their love…

for those who are scared…

or confused…

or saddened by the fact

that certain human beings must still fight to be equal.

 

JenniChiu

 

 

equal-love.jpg

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To the Boy Scouts of America, On Behalf Of A Scouting Family.

 

This letter is being re-published here with the permission of Patrick Goodnow.

Patrick

Patrick

 

 

Email sent to the National Board of the BSA:

nationalsupportcenter@scouting.org

 


I was a registered scout from the age of 8 through 18 as were both my younger and older brothers. All three of us spent summers first attending and then working for our local scout camp, J.N. Webster. I achieved my Life badge and was inducted into the Order of the Arrow completing vigil and numerous service projects.

Mom, started as a cub scout leader and in the 70′s became one of the first women in America to complete advanced leadership training.
“Stand Up Rose” Goodnow became a district leader and was awarded the silver beaver on two occasions. Upon her passing, she was buried in her scouting uniform at her request.

Wally Goodnow, my dad served as scout master and on district committees, also earning a sliver beaver.

My bothers, Wallace and Paul-Steven Goodnow, both Eagle scouts, died tragically while still in their teens; Wallace, murdered in Jacksonville, FL before he was 20 and Paul-Steven in a single car accident driving late night to his job at J.N. Webster as dining hall steward. A plaque was erected memorializing them at the entrance to a campsite at the scout reservation.

I helped to home care Rose through her final illness and took my father Wallace into my home to see him through his, eventually holding his hand as he passed. They remained involved in scouting to the end.

Every five years I take a stand for my family and represent my brother Wallace and his memory at the parole board hearing for the unapologetic man who took his life.

I volunteer as a youth mentor and contribute my services to community and charitable projects often in the name of these family members who have passed.

I am a gay man. The lessons that I learned in scouting and the examples of service and fellowship have helped to make me a good man as well.

Two summers ago, I attended a reunion at J.N. Webster for past staff and campers.
I was greeted by one leader graciously and with much good cheer. Most others made it clear that though they would happily take my financial contribution, they would also prefer that I leave as quickly as possible.
- I was not welcome to assist with service and badly needed maintenance projects.
- My offer to provide assistance with fundraising and marketing (areas in which I have considerable expertise) was firmly rebuffed.
- I have now, apparently, been removed from contact lists for future social gatherings
- Though I asked, none would tell me where the plaque honoring my brothers was so I could pay my respects

I continue to contribute to my community and actively participate in many worthwhile organizations.
…but my heart is heavy when I think of what scouting was and what it has become.

On behalf of my scouting family and in their memory, please change this policy.

Allow your brothers to come home.

Patrick Goodnow
Norwich, CT

 

"Stand Up" Rose

“Stand Up” Rose

 

Dad Goofing

Wallace (Dad) being goofy

 

Wally 05

Wallace

 

PS 02

Paul-Steven

 

Sent from a friend.

Sent from a friend.

 

 

 

 

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It’s Possible That Breastfeeding Is Like Gay People Kissing On Days Of Our Lives.

 

I have a confession to make:

I’m a housewife and I watch Days of our Lives.

I also have another confession to make:

Seeing two guys kiss kind of makes me uncomfortable.

 

 

My favorite daytime Soap now has two homosexual characters that are starting to make out on a regular basis.  Whenever I see it… I feel kind of weird.  It’s a little shocking… in an ice water kind of way.

I went to a performing arts college – practically half of my class was gay.  I was also a working actor for over a decade after that, and have very dear friends that are gay.  However, most of my gay friends now live on different coasts and since becoming a housewife I have been severely… underexposed.

I don’t feel weird when I see a husband kiss his wife on the sidewalk in front of my house.  I don’t feel uncomfortable when the heterosexual characters go at it on Days of Our Lives.  I think it makes me feel weird because it’s something I’m not used to.  It’s shockingly different.  My weekly viewings of Glee aren’t enough to make it still feel normal to watch.

I imagine it’s how some people feel when a woman breastfeeds in public.  People shift in their chairs…

They whisper to each other…

They slightly shake their heads…

They feel uncomfortable…

They ask a restaurant manager to make the woman leave or stop.

Breastfeeding advocates around the world encourage women to nurse in public because of the idea that the more people see it, the more normal it becomes.

It’s one of the most normal, natural things in the world, but I’ve found myself on a number of occasions huddled in my car trying to uncomfortably feed my baby.  I’ve sat on a bench with my son under a nursing cover hoping that no one would notice… then felt strangely guilty for feeling ashamed.  I’ve felt bold.  I’ve felt natural.  I’ve felt nervous.  I’ve felt dirty.

I can’t help but wonder if any of my gay friends feel that way when they kiss their partner hello or goodbye in a public place.

I don’t want you to feel that way…

and I don’t want to feel as uncomfortable as I do when I see it – my self-touted open minded and open heartedness is crumbling before me.

Gays of the world, I need your help.

I need you to kiss more in front of me…

and since you never know where I might be at any given time, just do it wherever you are when the urge strikes you… and hope that I see it.

I don’t need you to lick your partners face off – gay or straight that may make me dry heave a little…

But I need to be exposed to more simple displays of homosexual affection.  Seeing love should not make me uncomfortable…

We need a new normal.

You kiss the person you cherish when the moment calls for it.

I’ll nurse my son on a bench when he’s hungry.

Let’s make our acts of love more commonplace…

and then lets make a sandwich, put our feet up, and watch today’s episode of Days of Our Lives.

 

 

 

 

 

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