If my phlegm doesn’t kill me, my spotty reception will.

  When I am on the phone, the last thing I want to do is have someone on the other end hear me pee in the bathroom.  However, ...

Did my birthday happen?

  Monday was my birthday and I'm not sure if it even happened. We just moved into our new home several days ago, both of my ...

Take it, snot rag.

  I'm going to start mainlining some immune system boosters because I don't have time to be as sick as I am.  Hot Nerd is out ...

Ode To A Snot Rag.

Brain compressed. Mouth dry from hanging wide. Stabbing behind the left eye. Take it, snot rag... take it. When you ...

If your kid gets my kid sick, I’ll kick your butt.

Toddlers are snotty. They can't blow their noses, and they like to smear their boogers all over their faces. Parents- curb your kids' ...