Yes, I absolutely watched the Nadya Suleman two hour special of “unseen footage” last night. This particular evening, I felt like judging someone, pointing my finger, and feeling self-righteous.  It was as if the Gods had designed the night’s television programing just for me.

Octomom …

on a silver platter…

enjoy…

I settled on my couch with a bowl of pasta, ready to feel the anger rise up inside of me.  Unfortunately, I was denied.

Oh there was anger, a little, but it didn’t really rise- just kinda floated around a bit. She’s attention- seeking, for sure. She’s messed up. She’s put these children in a horrible situation. But these are all things I already knew, and now after watching this stupid special, I know that she knows it too. She said herself that she screwed up her life, she’s screwed up her children’s lives, and now she’s just doing the best she can.

Well, fuck.

I can’t really hate you when you admit that you’re wrong.

We’re all just doing the best we can. And we’ve all made some mistakes– I’ve made some doozies.

I suppose I was hoping to either be filled with hate, or, on the other side of the spectrum, to see some great redemption story. Instead I just saw a woman who messed up big time and is living with the consequences.  I didn’t feel sorry for her, she brought it on herself. I didn’t hate her either. I was just … apathetic.

Well, Jesus, apathy I can get at the grocery store.

I did feel a little sorry for the kids. But, honestly, there was so much crying and whining in that household, that my special mommy mute button was pressed. You know, the one that allows you to keep your sanity amidst the earth shattering sound of your child’s cries. That one.

So, two hours of television equaled wasted time for me. I learned nothing, felt little, and have now resigned myself to no more Octomom viewing or reading.

At least, I’m gonna try really hard.

–seriously