Impromptu video before heading into Target with my toddler. He insisted on wearing this… I try not to impose stereotypes on my kids when they are this young, so I let him wear it.
I trotted in a speedy haze through the grocery store aisle. I was there to pick up Vicodin, some milk, and a few things for dinner. It was already way past my son’s bedtime, and he had since turned into a monkey on acid strapped to a cart who […]
I hear the vibrations of my phone across the room. I stare at it… paralyzed… unable to move. Someone is calling me. Someone is checking to see if I’m alright. I am not. I’m a prisoner. I am a looseleaf pinned under a paperweight. My lips are cracked from […]
When I am on the phone, the last thing I want to do is have someone on the other end hear me pee in the bathroom. However, because I had been transferred and on hold for fifteen minutes – I had to chance it. Apparently, self-diagnosed bronchitis makes you […]
The following post takes place in about a minute and a half. Sweetheart, do you need more snack? Would you like a biscuit? Or raisins? OOOh, if I put my foot here, and then fold myself in half while winking each eye simultaneously, everything looks really cool. And […]