twitter

More of Jenni Chiu’s Twitter rules.

posted on 03/13/2012 by Jenni Chiu 22 Comments

Perhaps you are new to Twitter and do not know these rules.

Perhaps you have been using Twitter for a long time, but have ignored all my other posts about how to use Twitter like a cool person.

These are some of my rules.

They are made up.

They are totally true.

You may only promote your blog/website/product a total of five times in any 24 hour period. A good rule of thumb is to tweet your link once to the morning crowd, once to the afternoon crowd, and once to the evening crowd. Then, if your feeling extra shameless, you get two extra tweets to creatively bait me to visit.
If you fill my stream with personal attacks against another social networker, you give all of us permission to find you when you’re sleeping and write “petty” on your face with a Sharpie. Only mar when willing to be marred in return. You also give us permission to write “not Tom” on your face, so people don’t get confused.
You may only post pictures of what you’re eating if you grew it yourself, killed it yourself, made it for your long lost lover, or cooked it with your feet. Another exception would be any meal that cost over $100, because I like to see food with diamonds in it. Also, if your using your food as foreplay… then I’d like to see before and after pictures. Other than that, I don’t need to see a snapshot of your half eaten ham sandwich.
It’s okay to complain SOMETIMES… but make it somewhat entertaining, people.
You may only use Twitter as your personal therapist if you send me $125 each time. Twitter will tell you your smart, funny, beautiful, and worthy… but not if you keep asking. (Please note: you only have to send me (not everyone) $125 – in which case, I will absolutely make you feel better about yourself.)
If you have never used Twitter to tell a joke, share a funny animal photo, have the public vote on your new hairstyle, or ask medical advice – you’re using it wrong, or are a robot and will soon be banned.
If you only tweet in Portugese, I will not follow you. I am not Portugese.
If you tweet hate you will get thumb herpes.

And this last Twitter rule is important for businesses using Twitter as part of their marketing plan, as well as individuals. You’ve heard me say it before, but it bears repeating:

Every time I follow someone, and three seconds later I receive an impersonal auto DM with a thank you, a pitch, and a link -

baby panda

dies.

Save the pandas, Twitter.

posted in Featured, Not really a post, web 2.0 tagged with pandas, social media, twitter, web 2.0 22 Comments

Why I’ll never quit blogging.

posted on 03/08/2012 by Jenni Chiu 37 Comments

It takes a village…

not just to raise a child, but to exist…

to thrive as a human being.

Our techno-lifestyles have reduced our daily physical connections with others. I never have to see an actual teller at a bank, and half the time I deal with voice automation on the telephone. More and more of us live long distances from our parents and grandparents. The majority of the people I know would send an email before entertaining the idea of making a phone call.

But we have a deep, primal need to connect. Through the Internet and social media we are building our own cyber villages. We share photos of our lives, we share the music that touches us, and we make each other laugh with our stupid jokes.

Sure, there are the sparse wackadoodles who are not who they say they are online, but I think most of us are just trying to connect… whether we admit it or not. Almost all of us are using something as inhuman as a computer… to feed our humanity.

For me it’s blogging.

Personal blogs are becoming everyday reads for a large part of the population. They’re not news articles, they’re not magazines… they’re personal – they have heart. A journalist can give you the details, a blogger can make you cry… or pee your pants.

I am brave behind the keyboard. I’ve shared with you a miscarriage, depression, and an early lesson in compassion. And we’ve laughed together so hard… about idiot phone companies, scarring my kid at the OB’s office, and really bad bowel movements.

A blogger strokes the keyboard, reaches through the computer screen, and taps you on the shoulder. A personal blogger writes to make you feel, to make you laugh, to make you think. A blogger (a good one) feeds your humanity. And the best part of it all, the absolute best, is that you also feed mine. It may actually be a tipped scale in my favor.

When I’m honest in my writing, it makes me feel human. But when you, the readers respond… it makes me live.

The comments, the emails, the tweets from the other side of the globe… it’s a testament to the power of human connection. You people are my proof that at the core, we are all so much more alike than we think.

Whether you read or you write, blogs are the cyber campfire. The stories, the laughter, the debates, the bearing witness… it connects us across vast distances.

You are my village…

and I thank you.

I am amazed that I’ve reached so many of you.

I never expected so many of you would reach me.

Keep the embers of the cyber campfire burning…

because I don’t think I’ll ever quit.

PS- This is from my About page:

****

Pain shared is pain lessened.

Laughter shared is laughter multiplied.

Blog or perish.

****

posted in Featured, Life, web 2.0 tagged with blogging, excuse to link to my own posts, facebook, humanity, social media, twitter 37 Comments

Celebrities have ended their digital lives. Okay.

posted on 12/03/2010 by Jenni Chiu 8 Comments

Digital

Life

Sacrifice.

What is it? It’s a campaign on behalf of a charity started by Alicia Keys called Keep A Child Alive. Some heavy hitter celebrities ended their digital lives this past Tuesday (World AIDS Day). This means they’ve signed off of social media platforms like Facebook, and Twitter, and will not sign on again until the charity raises one million dollars.

Okay.

I’m perplexed.

Hot Nerd’s reaction was “Could they do any less“?

And I think I’m so confused by this because, although the idea intrigues me, what Hot Nerd said rang true to me. So… they’re just not going to tweet, until us- the poor fans, come up with a million dollars?

So we can once again read tweets like:

“What up, Miami?”

“Thrilled for my new movie to open next week.”

“Catch me on Jay Leno tonight.”

I thought surely there must be more to this.

So, I checked it out.

I am severely disappointed.

You can view the “Last Tweet and Testament” of the celebs here:

BuyLife.org

They are all the same… as if reading from a 45 second script. You choose who you want to bring back to digital life by texting their name to a specific number.

I believe the cause is an important one, and I should applaud anyone who attempts, with a good heart, to raise funds for a cause so worthy.

It’s an interesting idea. It also says something about our society and how ensconced we are in the arms of social media.

But here is what I really have to say:

Donate because it’s a good cause. Don’t donate because you can’t live without your 140 character update from your favorite star. Because you know what… you can.

I watched some of the “Last Tweet and Testaments”, waiting, just waiting for one of the celebrities to say that they would match, or even give a percentage of what their fans give in their name.

The campaign is supposed to “put the disease in perspective”.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out- or if the only thing it puts in perspective, is how overexposed we are to our present day celebrities, and how much quieter life can be without that exposure.

** You can also choose to end your own digital life on the website. I will not be doing that.

Your welcome.

Plus, Hot Nerd would surely wage a campaign to keep me “digitally dead”.

posted in web 2.0 tagged with Alicia Keys, digital life sacrifice, facebook, Keep a child alive, social media, twitter 8 Comments

Why I am not following you on Twitter.

posted on 11/16/2010 by Jenni Chiu 23 Comments

You want me to follow you. I know you do. Or maybe I already am. I follow a lot of people on Twitter.

I am one of those people that actually checks their new followers on a regular basis- looks at their profiles, maybe checks out the website, then usually follows back out of some sense of obligation. I like to give people a chance.

I should say liked to give people a chance.

I’ve looked at the list of people I’m following and realized something…

I am a hoarder.

So, I’m cleaning house.

There could be a number of reasons why I’m not following you on Twitter (either never did, or not anymore). Here’s some:

Your shameless self promotion. Twitter is a great way to market yourself or your company- but I try to be smart about it. New rule: As someone I follow, you are allowed three links to your “new post” of the day. One for the morning crowd, the afternoon crowd, and the evening crowd. Done.
You post too many pictures of your lunch or dinner. I really don’t care what you’re eating. Unless you’ve grown it yourself, killed it yourself, and cooked it up for your long lost lover- I don’t need to see it.
We have absolutely nothing in common. I follow a lot of people of different mindsets than myself. I enjoy healthy discourse. But if you tweet about nothing but naked chicks, or all your tweets are in Russian- it’s a no go.
You use Twitter as your arena to fight your personal battles. I’m down with helping Haiti, fighting hunger, or giving cancer a big F U. But don’t fill my stream with personal attacks against another online social net-worker. It makes you look petty- and I don’t follow petty (except maybe Tom).
You complain way too much! Maybe I should rephrase that, because I also complain. And sometimes hearing about your crappy life makes me feel better- but just not ALL THE TIME. And do it in an entertaining or smart way. Entertain me, people!
You tweet hate.
You never reply to anyone. I am not saying you have to reply to me. But if I look at your tweet history, and you’ve never replied to anyone, ever… well, you could be a robot who just spews out quotes and phrases all day. I don’t follow robots- they freak me out.
Your last tweet was posted last December. You’re never on Twitter.
You auto DM’d me. I followed you. You sent me an auto DM saying “Hi! Thanks for the follow, visit my site…blah…” I probably no longer follow you. Just know- I get very excited when I see I have Direct Messages waiting for me.
You are an ex lover. I don’t want to know what you are doing all the time. That’s just weird.